Crazy Coupon Lady

Extreme Couponing on TLC is the best show ever! These people are insane!!!! So, i'm watching it the other day and these people are saving like thousands upon thousands of dollars every time they shop! One woman's total bill before her store card and coupons was over $1500, after discounts, $6.52! How crazy is that!?! Now let's not forget the fact that her home is a grocery store in and of itself but c'mon people, that's insane savings! So why can't I do that? Why can't I go to the market and buy a ton of stuff and only pay $6? Well, i'm gonna try damnit! So here I go...

I got all my coupons together this past Sunday, all clipped nicey nice, organized just so and broke out the circulars. I stuck with Shoprite, Stop and Shop and Price Chopper but as it turns out Price Chopper has the least quality deals out of all of them. After scanning for the best deals and comparing them to the coupons I have it turns out Shoprite is the store of choice for this shopping trip. So here's how it went down...

I managed to get;

2 tubs of mayo (Kraft, not Hellmans :( )

8 pints of International Delight Coffee Creamers (They have a great shelf life, and hey, I drink alot of coffee)

4 Bottles of Loreal Colorvive Shampoo and Conditioner

1 tub of Matzoh Meal (it's Passover people, gotta make some Matzoh Balls)

After my store card and coupons I only spent $17.17, saving over $37! Not too shabby if I do say so myself. Now it's not a $1000 savings like they show on tv but it's ok, i'm just starting this new obsession. Now, I know, you're thinking 'What the heck do you need 8 creamers for? 2 tubs of Mayo?..." But if you use the stuff, which I do, and it will hold on the shelf, which it will (the creamers for example are good until September) then why not I say!?! It takes some time, and it's kind of a pain in the ass but there is definitely something to be said for the art of couponing. So, I leave you now to go wash my hair, drink some coffee and make some Matzoh Balls... Hope you all can find couponing as successful as I have!

Come live in my World

I live in a world where I am forced to kiss ass for a living. It's ok, I don't mind it. As a matter of fact, i'm pretty good at it. This world has a name, it's called customer service. There are many people who live in my world. People of all shapes and sizes, colors, gender and nationalities. Some of us co-exist better than others, some of us find the world to be to much to handle and run for the hills. It's a tough tough world I tell ya. People come to visit and they don't understand the rules. They believe that they can just waltz into our world, push us around and treat us poorly without any consequence. Sometimes, we let them, it isn't worth the battle, but other times we have to put our war gear on and fight the fight. As someone who peacefully co-exists in this world, I find it frustrating when my neighbors don't understand or follow the rules if this land.

Rule #1 - Treat me with kindness and it will be returned

Rule #2 - I am giving you my money, that can go away if you don't follow Rule #1

Rule #3 - Even if you can't, for whatever reason, solve my problem still follow Rule #1

Simple right? You would think so anyway. I try to follow the rules, play by the book so to speak, so you can understand my frustration when I have to deal with others in my world who don't. Not only do they aggravate me when I have an issue that needs to be fixed but they make the rest of us look bad and make it so that people don't want to visit our happy little land. I don't have the answers, I can't fix the world, all I can do is tend to my garden, fix up my place and know that as long as I love my world, I will be successful.

Mo Money, MoProblems

I wish money wasn't so important. I wish it didn't define who we are and the things that we do in our life. So many decisions in our lives are based on money and all it does it keep us unhappy. We can't do the things that we want, the things that we are passionate about because they either cost too much money or keep us from making the money that we need to survive. Raise your hand if you would still be at your job, or school if money were not an issue. I'm willing to bet that just about no one raised their hands. I know I didn't. So what's the solution? No really, what is it? I don't want to be a part of this rat race anymore. It's exhausting! Do I quit my job and go live in a commune in Iowa, growing crops? Singing kumbaya? I'm pretty sure that's not going to work for me. Do I keep plugging away, continuing to run the race, chasing after the money that will still, not make me happy? I need answers people! Someone reading this has to have some wise words to impart. I'll even throw in a quarter to the wisest!

My dearest Cupid...

An Ode to Cupid...

Excuse me Cupid,

Let's have a word.

You see, my day has been absurd.

It started out all nice and mellow,

but not for long you silly fellow!

In came one with cherry cheesecake

they were so good they made my knees quake!

Another came with yummy pinwheels

so delicious, delighted squeals.

My treat to all, brownies galore

flavor so good, made you want more!

The desserts kept coming throughout the day

I knew that later, I would pay.

The sugar high has come and gone,

and I've spent my night in one big yawn.

My stomach's churning all about

and it's all your fault, without a doubt!

So Cupid dear, please listen close

you keep your arrows and your bows.

You're nice enough, but your purpose is unclear

for EVERYDAY my love ones I hold dear.

So for those of you who enjoy this day

I hope you celebrate in the very best way.

Just please remember that no matter what,

you should love everyday no ifs, ands or buts!

Close encounters of the German Shephard kind

As serious as life can be sometimes, we've all had moments in our life that we can look back on and get a good chuckle out of. I have many such moments, most of them were humorous at my expense. I do, however, have one moment that I can always count on to make me smile and since everybody deserves a good smile, I'm going to share it with you whether you like it or not.

If you know me at all, you know I have a dog named Monkey. He's the sweetest thing and of course, I love him to pieces. I work long hours though and the guilt of leaving him home alone for such long stretches got to me and so I have a dog walker who comes in to, well, walk him. She is a nice older woman, probably in her late 50's to early 60's and she has been taking care of Monkey since I got him. Unfortunately, she happens to be a tad bit scatterbrained. Some days she comes at the wrong time, sometimes she even comes on the wrong day. It's not usually a problem but out of this scatterbrained-ness (I know it's not a word!) comes one of the funniest memories I have.

Monkey has a best friend, her name is Callie. She was his very first friend and Callie's owner/mother and I are also very good friends. Monkey is a small shih-tzu and Callie is a not so small German Shephard. Strange combination but best friends they are. We were having a play date one day, only Monkey was at the groomers getting his hair did. When he was done, we left to pick him up, leaving Callie at the house. On our way to the groomers I get a very panicked phone call from my dog walker.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Joy? It's ___________ " (i'll leave names out to protect the innocent)

"Hi ___________. How are you?"

"Well," and I can hear the panic in her voice "I'm at the house, and there is a very big German Shephard here and no Monkey." Now I can only imagine what could have been running through her head at this point.

"Oh," i'm cracking up at this point "you weren't supposed to be at the house today. It's tomorrow that I need you. Monkey is at the groomers. That is his friend Callie. She is very sweet, she won't bite or anything"

"I'm sure she is very sweet but she won't let me leave! She is standing in front of the front door and won't budge"

So here is this poor woman, expecting my little 15 pound guy, walking into my house and being completely surprised by a not so little German Shephard! Not only that, but the not so little German Shephard is guarding the door and won't let her leave. I think I would have been just as panicked as this poor woman but instead, I was barely able to control the hysterical laughter that was fighting to come out as I pictured what was going on in the house in my head. She finally managed to escape by throwing a treat away from the door and all ended well. You would think this close encounter with the Shephard kind would have taught this woman to be a little less scatterbrained, but alas, it hasn't. Maybe next time I will have to find a Great Dane!

Outta Control

Control is a funny thing. There isn't much we have control over in life. We can control ourselves as far as the things we say, the things we wear, how we look, we can control the choices that we make, like what college we will go to, what job we will take, what color we will paint our house... Aside from that, thinking we have control over anything is laughable.

So, laughable is where I am in my life right now. It seems that the universe has seized control of my life and is having a very good chuckle at my expense. So far, I have fallen down stairs while trying to move a tv, put a pretty decent size hole in my wall due to the fall, fallen down yet again on my front steps on the ice and hurting myself just a teeny tiny bit, and now, I have water finding it's way into my house and destroying my kitchen wall and it's beautiful paint job! I feel like I have to tiptoe around because i'm not sure when the universe is going to drop a piano on my head! The two falls were bad enough but this water situation has really wrecked my life this past week. I have cried, I have screamed, I have done everything but literally beat my head into a wall and at the end of the day, I HAVE NO CONTROL!!! I can't control my management company that refuses to address the problem, I can't control the water coming in through my walls, I can't control the money that I have to put out year after year due to this water issue, and accepting that I have no control over all this has not been, and still is not easy for me.

So, at the end of the day, what's girl to do? I can't fight the powers that be, I can't change the fact that I have no control, so do I just shrug my shoulders and let the universe continue to laugh at my expense? Someone out there has to have some sage advice... Someone has to know how to take back control... For heaven's sake! Help a girl out!

Give me back my brain! Please?

The brain is a funny thing. You have no control over what it does. You may think you do, it lulls you into a false sense of security that way, but just when you think you have it under control, it takes over and BAM! You're life is not it's own anymore. It's like the old Epcot show Cranium Command (for those of you who remember it) where there is a troop of "brain soldiers" charged with the efficient running of the brain. Well that troop doesn't always follow orders, sometimes they take matters into their own hands and like to have a little fun at my expense (or yours for that matter).

Here is how my brain soldiers are ruining my life right now. Insomnia. I don't want it, don't want to even hear the word but yet, the brain soldiers have decided that now is the right time to torment me with this. I'm tired, I can feel it. My eyes are heavy, I have dark circles and I have no motivation to accomplish anything, but yet, the brain soldiers have taken over and here I sit having had no more than a wink of sleep last night and ready to pull my hair out. I get all nice and comfy in my bed, turn off the tv, turn off the light and wait. Still waiting... And, still waiting, but nothing! It's as if my brain has forgotten how to fall asleep and the longer I lie there, the more anxious I become about not being able to fall asleep and the longer I stay awake. I have even resorted to sleep aids but to no avail. They work only when the brain soldiers let them. Last night it was melatonin but the brain soldiers decided they were having too much fun tormenting me and brushed off the melatonin like it was nothing.

So here is my plea brain soldiers... Cut it out! I'm taking control of my brain back! I want to sleep so for heaven's sake and for the sake of all of co-workers who have to deal with me cranky due to no sleep, GIVE ME BACK MY BRAIN!!!